Friday, November 16, 2007

Now you know why no one talks to me about toilet paper or politics

I was thinking -- not sure why -- about brands that I am loyal to. There aren't that many, but here are a few items where I am fiercely loyal to a particular brand:

Toilet Paper. I won't wipe my bum with anything other than Charmin Ultra. I take a roll or two with me everywhere I go -- even to expensive hotels. Charmin Ultra is not my favorite toilet paper of all-time (That would be the original White Cloud) but it is the best being manufactured today.

Petroleum. I buy Citgo. Not because I think it's better, but because I'd rather my money go to poor people in Venezuala than to obscenely-rich-but-still-greedy-for-more soulless bastards like Dick Cheney. And even if it doesn't go to the poor in that country, if it goes to prop up Hugo Chavez's socialist government, that's fine too. I think capitalism like every other form of government has a limited shelf-life and has reached its expiration date in the USA. Let's try something else.

Lip balm. Chapstick of course. What else are you going to use? Chap-et?

Shaving Cream. Edge Gel. I've tried everything else. Just recently I tried the new Gillette Fusion Hydra-Gel. Nothing's as good as Edge.

Tennis shoes. New Balance. Mainly because I have mega-wide feet and New Balance is the only shoe that always has extra-wide sizes available.

Baked beans. Bush's. This is the only thing named Bush that I am in favor of.

I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of any right now. There are other things that I'm brand-loyal about but I buy so little of the product it's hardly worth elaborating on. I mean I wouldn't buy any kind of prune juice other than Sunsweet, but I only buy like three bottles a year. I used to be an oatmeal snob and only bought Quaker, but now the store brand suits me fine. I used to buy only Rosarita refried beans but the only store in my neck of the woods that carried it stopped carrying it, so now I buy anything other than Old El Paso, which I'm boycotting.

1 comment:

cornbread hell said...

i'm right there with you on the citgo and bush things, butt the charmin ultra one almost made me type LOL. (oops)