Working with Bubba

That dude to the left there is my co-worker Bubba. One of the reasons I no longer dread having to go to work in the morning is because I no longer have to put up with a preponderance of lazy-ass morons like I did when I was in the police department. I get to work with intelligent, hard-working people like Bubba. Bubba has taught me everything I know about the printing business. And cuz he knows I'm an autograph collector he was kind enough to get Bob Zany's autograph for me when he went to a recent Friends of the Bob and Tom Show Comedy tour stop.
What a bud.
But he ain't perfect. Here are probably his two most annoying characteristics:
1. Whenever he misses a day of work (which is frequent) when he comes back the next day, it doesn't matter what I've done, he's going to say "Is that all you did? I would have thought you'd have done this and this and that." If I have rebuilt the building from the ground up in the middle of a hurricane (while he was out) he'll say "Is that all you did? I would have thought you'd have repaved the parking lot and put a helipad on the roof too." It's kind of ironic cuz sometimes Bubba will spend days staring at calendar software trying to figure out how to make August start on a Tuesday.
2. Bubba is skinny (and neat and unmarried at 29, hmmm. . . ) and because he's skinny some of the women in the office will give him food. When they give him food he does not immediately eat it. No, he will come down to my office or wherever I am and eat it in front of me, sighing with delight and closing his eyes like these nachos (or whatever) is the most delicious thing he's ever tasted. He does this because he knows that's how you torture a fat person.
But despite the unrealistic expectations and the sadistic streak, Bubba is a pretty good person to work with.