Adventures in homebrewing

I just got my sixth batch of homebrew into the primary fermenter today, and I thought it might be good to take a look back before they all start to melt together in my memory. The first two batches -- an Irish red ale and a raspberry wheat -- were learning experiences and as such they were successes. Actually they were not exactly failures as finished product either. The Irish red was fine if nothing spectacular, the raspberry wheat had a whinge of artificial fruit flavor from the raspberry extract, but both were drinkable -- they must have been, they're all gone.
But I think I really hit my stride with batch #3, a double chocolate stout. This was my first full boil (i.e. in a kettle big enough to boil the full five or more gallons rather than adding water after the boil to make it to the five gallon mark) and I think that's a big part of the reason it turned out so well. I've tried to do something different with each batch but nothing has resulted in a giant leap in quality the way full boil has. And another reason may well be that I freaking love chocolate, love stout and lovelovelove chocolate stout. This beer tasted great after two weeks in the bottle, but now after two months I honestly believe it is as good as any chocolate stout I've ever purchased in the store. And I'm very sad that I only have a handful of bottles left.
Batch #4 was an imperial IPA (India pale ale) and it turned out very nicely. This was my first dry hop and my first partial mash. It's very good, very hoppy and just a little darker than an IPA should be. Not sure what the problem is there, but all my brews seem to come out darker than the style guides would have. (Another reason to love Stout: it can't be too dark.) And I have every reason to believe that like the stout it will get better with age -- if I can keep my hands off it long enough to let it age.
I did a Cascade pale ale for my fifth batch, and I experimented with this one a little. I had some frozen blueberries that my son Dylan and I picked last summer and I wanted to use some of them in here. I heard a homebrew podcast where a guy was talking about brewing with blueberries and he said he didn't do anything to them (other than thaw them out) and they just floated on top of the fermenter and did not add much in the way of flavor or color. So I decided I would mash mine up some and this seemed to work out well; they did not float to the top and they turned my formerly straw-colored brew purple.
So I felt good about my decision to mash the fruit -- until bottling day, where bits of blueberry clogged up everything -- my siphoning tube, my bottling wand (as a a matter of fact, my bottling wand has still not recovered and I may have to buy another one) -- and I eventually ended up straining the beer through an old (but very clean t-shirt) and even so I ended up with only 4 gallons instead of five. Worst of all, I was half way through the bottling process when I realized I had not added any priming sugar -- which is the stuff yeast eats to carbonate the beer -- so I poured it all back in and started over, with a sick feeling because I know the more you handle the beer the more chance there is of something going wrong. And I think something did. I opened one blueberry beer today just to see how it was coming along and at least half of it fizzed out all over the counter. Overcarbonated to say the least. The second one I popped open had absolutely no carbonation whatsoever. So I'm afraid I've got a batch that's half berry wine cooler and half blueberry seltzer. But maybe I just happened to grab the two beers that got the yeast extremes and the others will be fine. Time will tell.
What I made today was a hibiscus honey wheat and so far no problems. It's pink and I'm done for a while with Crayola beers. I'm trying to decide what to do for my next batch -- maybe a mead, maybe another chocolate beer, or maybe it's time to go all grain, maybe brew in a bag. . .

In 199o Charlie Sheen shot and wounded his fiance Kelly Preston. In 1994 he was sued by a college student who alleged that he struck her in the head after she declined to have sex with him.In 1996 he assaulted a porn star. In 2006, his wife at the time, the actress Denise Richards, filed a restraining order against him, saying Mr. Sheen had shoved and threatened to kill her. In December 2009, Mr. Sheen’s third wife, Brooke Mueller, a real-estate executive, called 911 after Mr. Sheen held a knife to her throat. And on Tuesday, Ms. Mueller requested a temporary restraining order against her former husband, alleging that he had threatened to cut her head off, “put it in a box and send it to your mom.”

What I want to know is why is this guy on the cover of People and US, all over television and not in prison? Hey Media, he's not a "bad boy" and there is nothing cute about this. He's a psychopath.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/04/opinion/04holmes.html?_r=1&scp=5&sq=charlie%20sheen&st=cse

The Riotous Return of Rob's Rotgut Reviews.

Today I'm trying a Smoked Porter from Stone Brewery. I like Porter, I like everything I've tried from Stone -- some of their stuff is desert island beer, stuff I would want with me if I were a castaway -- but I'm not sure what it means when a beer is smoked. Obviously it's not smoked the same way as ham, is it? I'll be having this with a smoked Gouda as well, and I don't know how they smoke cheese either. ( I tried to smoke cheese once back in the 70's but I couldn't keep the damn thing lit.)

APPEARANCE: Pours a deep, dark brown. Almost black but if you hold it up to the light you can see some ruby around the edges.

AROMA: I'm not really getting much in the olfactories. Maybe some oakiness.

TASTE: Well, no, let me do mouthfeel first:

MOUTHFEEL: Thinner than I expected -- but that's what I get for having preconceptions about a beer I know nothing about. I'm sure it's because I expect black beers to taste and feel like stout.

Okay, now TASTE: Well, one sip is enough to teach me what smoked beer is all about. You know how a good barbecued potato chip tastes. This is like that, tangy and (duh!) smoky. The smokiness lingers or dissipates briefly and then reappears again -- kind of an after-aftertaste. It's interesting how the malt and the hops are noticeable but definitely playing second or third fiddle to the smoke. The smokiness of the Gouda is even more in-your-face but maybe not as long-lasting - but I'm not sure because I've got that smoky taste in my mouth now and I'm not sure which is cheese and which is ale. (By the way, Gouda recently replaced Swiss as my number one favorite cheese -- so congratulations to Gouda.)

DRINKABILITY: Hard to say. At the Brewvival this weekend I complimented the rep from the Bruery on their sweet potato beer, and he said he liked it too, but he could only drink like one a year. I can definitely see myself drink more than one smoked porter a year; I can even see myself have two back to back, although a palate cleanser in between might be a good idea.

Most movies I watch these days go in one eye and out the other, an enjoyable way to spend a couple of hours even if tomorrow I don't remember much about it. Some movies stick with me though, and the documentary "Who is Harry Nilsson (and why is everybody talking about him?) is one of them.

Probably all I knew about Harry Nilsson before I saw this movie was "Everybody's Talking at Me" the theme song from Midnight Cowboy and his beautiful "Without You" and the novelty hit "Coconut" (as in "You put de lime in the coconut"). If I'd thought a little harder I might've remembered that he sang "Best Friend" the theme song of a sitcom I watched as a kid called "The Courtship of Eddie's Father." Oh, and he and John Lennon got kicked out of a nightclub for heckling the Smothers Brothers.
But now I know this guy was a true musical genius. John Lennon and Paul McCartney both said that their favorite American band was Harry Nilsson, and I think it's because he had as much talent as four very talented guys. He could write complex, witty lyrics or get right to the heart of the listener with a few perfectly-chosen words. His gift for melody was equally prodigious, and his voice was angelic and powerful.

He had something else inside him though, something that compelled him to sabotage first his career, then his talent and finally to destroy himself. Right after Nilsson Schmilsson became a huge hit, Harry split with his producer and made sure that all the tracks on he next album were too raunchy ("You're breaking my heart, you're tearing it apart, so fuck you" which Harry actually wanted to be the first single, probably because he knew there was no way the radio was going to play it) or too uncommercial to sell. He got his wish, Son Of Schmilsson was a flop, and he set to destroying his vocal instrument with drugs and alcohol and nioctine -- it's physically painful watch this guy smoke two cigarettes at a time. By the time he got together to record with John Lennon, these two seemed to be having a contest as to who could blow out their larynx first. Nilsson bragged to a friend that there was actual blood on the microphones.
What's even sadder is that by the time he meets the love of his life, the events he'd set into motion were unstoppable and he died at age 53.
And I just can't figure out why he wanted to do that.
If you can write and sing like this:

I mean, damn, isn't that a reason to live?

Day 31 of the 31 Beers of Christmas

Last night the mildly hoppy Dortmunder Lager felt good on my sore throat, so today I wanted to go with one that was even hoppier, and I opted for Bear Republic's Hop Rod Rye. I've had and enjoyed Bear Republic's Black Bear Stout. My review for this one is going to be brief and here it is -- I liked it, and it did exactly what I wanted it to do, which was make my sore throat feel a little better. The reason for such a wimpy review is that the sore throat has pretty much spread to the rest of my body and the mucus makes it impossible to do any kind of real review.
Even though this project is going out with a whimper and not a bang, I've enjoyed doing it very much and feel like I've learned a lot. I'll probably try something similar in the near future.

Day 30 of the 31 Beers of Christmas

So, a guy pulls into the parking lot today, Ohio plates and he's wearing a Great Lakes Brewing Company shirt. I had never heard of this outfit -- probably because none of their beers are yet available in South Carolina, but we talked for a few minutes about beer, and then he went on his touristy way. But later on, when he was leaving he handed me a bottle of Great Lakes Dortmunder Gold "A handcrafted Golden Lager From Cleveland, Ohio." A very friendly gesture and serendipitous because I hadn't decided what beer I was going to review tonight. From the label: Not as dry as a Pilsner or as malty as a Munich-style lager, our golden lager is a balanced beer named after Dortmund, Germany, the city where the Dortmunder style originated.
Sounds good. Let's go for it. By the way, my already puny taste buds are in worse shape than usual as I have a cold. Here's hoping I can do this beer justice. And thanks again, Ohio man.


APPEARANCE: Rich golden color with a hint of ruby. Inch and a half of white pillowy head. Not much in the way of bubble action. Lace from the top of the glass to the bottom.

AROMA: Sour with some citrus notes.

TASTE: Nicely balanced. I don't know what kind of hops they use but I like them -- although maybe it's just because the bitterness feels good on my sore throat -- subtle but pungent and the flavor lingers.

BURP TASTE: As might be expected from a beer with as few bubbles as this, there have been no eructions.

DRINKABILITY: As you may have noticed, I don't drink a lot of lagers, and I guess that's because lager to me means BudMillerCoors junk, but this I could drink -- well, if I lived in Cleveland.

Day 29 of the 31 Beers of Christmas

For day 29 let's try a -- no, not another Chocolate Stout. I spent all afternoon yesterday brewing up a batch of Chocolate Stout, and I'm in the mood for something a little different. So let's go with Rogue Brewing's Mocha Porter.
What? It's not the same thing. I mean, yeah, it's similar. I said I wanted something a little different, not a lot different. And Porter is not Stout and mocha is not chocolate. Is it? I'm not sure what mocha is, hang on. According to Dictionary.com, mocha is a flavoring obtained from a coffee infusion or a combined infusion of chocolate and coffee. It's also a seaport in Yemen and a glove leather, finer and thinner than doeskin, the best grades of which are made from Arabian goatskins. So I'm hoping Rogue is referring to the chocolate coffee thing. If this beer is made from glove leather it might be hard to handle.

APPEARANCE: All right, stop me if you've heard this one. It's black, though it fades to dark dark brown when held up to the light. Thin off-white head.

AROMA: Roasted malt, coffee and chocolate in that order.

TASTE: A lot more coffee than chocolate in this mocha, and more hops than I'm used to most porters and stouts -- still not a lot, but with the coffee and the roasted malts, it makes for a bitter brew. There is some dark chocolate but for some reason most of that ends up in my moustache and does not make its presence known until I lick my lips.

BURP TASTE: Pretty much all coffee.

DRINKABILITY: I've always said I like a balanced beer, but maybe I like unbalanced beers even better -- a bitter beer like this makes me crave something a little more malty, so I get to enjoy another beer.

Day 28 of the 31 Beers of Christmas

On day 28, we took the beer show on the road, to La Hacienda Mexican restaurant. This is one of our usual haunts and I usually get a Dos Equis -- Grande. But I wanted to try a cerveza I had never tried before, so I got a bottle of Pacifico. Big mistake, it smelled like water, tasted like watered-down water. I had to order a Dos Equis just to make sure my taste buds still worked.

Day 27 of the 31 Beers of Christmas

We're in the home stretch now, only five beers to go. Tonight what do you say we go with a stout? What's that? You say I've already had plenty of stouts this month. I know, I know. It is my favorite I won't deny. If all goes according to plan I intend to brew my first batch of stout tomorrow -- I want to have it ready to toast the birth of my grandson in February.
This one is different -- I mean, yeah, it's a chocolate stout but it's brewed with vanilla beans too. And vanilla is a flavor I recognize. (Which reminds me I bought some coriander the other day because it seems to pop up fairly regularly in beers and I wanted to be able to recognize it next time. Tastes like sand. So if your beer tastes like you're trying to drink it on a windy day at the beach that's coriander.)
Anyway, Aphrodite is an import, it's brewed in Quebec, Canada. The label is kinda sexy, I guess, a topless woman with vanilla in her hair and a cocoa bean necklace, which is kind of worrisome cuz I've learned not to trust sexy labels. It's an 11.5 oz bottle -- chintzy Canadians, where's my other half ounce? -- and it cost $5.99 at the Charleston Beer Exchange.

APPEARANCE: Black (of course) with a one inch brown head with slowly expanding and then bursting sinkholes.

AROMA: All chocolate, dark chocolate.

TASTE: Take that vanilla out of your hair, young lady. The taste is all cocoa. Even the mildly bitter finish feels more a dark chocolate bitterness than hoppiness. A little bit of chocolate history for you: Aztecs believed that wisdom and power came from eating the fruit of the cocoa tree, and also that it had nourishing, fortifying, and even aphrodisiac qualities. The Aztec emperor, Montezuma drank thick chocolate dyed red. The drink was so prestigious that it was served in golden goblets that were thrown away after only one use. He liked it so much that he was purported to drink 50 goblets every day! Montezuma would have loved this beer. I'm not sure how he'd feel about malted barley since the Aztecs did not have any sugar and drank their chocolate thick, cold and unsweetened, but I think he'd get used to it. I can see us now, me and Monty, toasting each other with our golden goblets after a day of building pyramids and cursing those conquistadors.

DRINKABILITY: Very, but as we've already established, I'm prejudiced.

Day 26 of the 31 beers of Christmas

I can't feel too bad about never having tried this next style of beer. Black IPA hasn't been around long enough for people to even agree on what to call it -- it's also called Cascadian Dark Ale, Dark IPA, India black ale and several other things. I'm cheating a little -- well, no, not cheating, I'm changing the rules a little. Up till now I haven't looked at descriptions or other reviews of the beer I'm sampling because I didn't want it to influence my taste buds. But I'm interested to know more about this oxymoronic sounding beer and what I should be looking for when I taste it. Here's a description from the Great American Beer Fest judges: medium high to high hop bitterness, flavor and aroma with medium-high alcohol content, balanced with a medium body. . . moderate dgree of caramel malt character and medium to strong dark roasted malt flavor and aroma."
The one I'm sampling is Stone Sublimely Self-Righteous Ale (purchased at eth Charleston Beer Exchange for $6.69), which has 90 IBU. which is high even for this high-hoppy style. But I'm not scared.

APPEARANCE: Black, with a a frothy off-white head that's not going anywhere fast. The black blocks all light so I'm not sure what the bubbles are doing.

AROMA: Pine. I smell pine. Lots of pine. And some old but not rotten plums. And I guess that's hops behind the pine and the plums.

TASTE: Wow, I just might turn into a hophead after all. I wouldn't say this is exactly balanced, because the hops do dominate from start to finish, but there is a definite undercurrent of malty, citrus sweetness fighting to get up. Not sure what happened to the pine I smelled as I don't really taste it. The black color is not the only thing different from a typical IPA. The mouthfeel is thicker too.

BURP TASTE: Oh, there's the pine!

DRINKABILITY: This is the perfect beer to drink when it's snowing outside and -- unusual for South Carolina -- it is snowing outside.

A break in the beer action to talk about Christmas.
I enjoyed the Krampus beer yesterday and learning more about the Christmas Krampus. Since then I've done some more research and learned about an even odder European Christmas tradition. The Caganer is a part of many manger scenes along with Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus, wise men, shepherds and angels. Who is he? As near as I can determine, the name translates as the pooper and he is the guy taking a dump in the stable or somewhere in the nativity scene.(Sometimes the adults hide him and let the kids find him -- kind of like a game of "Where's Waldo Pooping"?) Although this one at a Spanish mall is not hard to find.
And this is not a new thing, the caganer has been around since the 17th century. There are lots of theories as to why he gained a place in this sacred scene -- everything from he's fertilizing the earth to a demonstration that we're all equal (cuz everybody poops).
You can also get little statues of famous people pooping to decorate your home at the holidays.
You can get presidents and popes pooping.











Even reigning royalty























This may seem odd to people like us who did not grow up with this style of Christmas decoration. But I think it's a great family tradition.

The Christmas Beer - Old Foghorn

I'll never be able to try all the beers in the world; there's just too many and more and more being made all the time. But that's a good thing, it's good to live in a land of plenty. But there are also some types of beer that I have never tried -- and that's a bad thing, so I'm going to try to rectify that at least somewhat. Tomorrow I plan to have my first Black IPA, (and for those of you who don't know, IPA stands for India Pale Ale, so I'm very interested to see how a beer can be both black and pale), and today I'm going to introduce myself to Barleywine.

Or am I? Now that I look at the label of this bottle of Old Foghorn a little closer, I see it says "Barleywine Style" not "Barleywine". Ordinarily I wouldn't think anything of it, but this is from Anchor Brewing Company, who already got off on the wrong foot with me by trying to slip me an Old Milwaukee in the guise of their flagship brew Anchor Steam. So I don't trust them completely, but I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.

All right, I know nothing about barleywines, so this time I'm going in with a true Zen mind.

APPEARANCE: Dark copper in color, pillowy white head that is in no hurry to go anywhere. Lace that you could make light-blocking curtains out of, bubbles that mosey up to the top.

AROMA: You can definitely smell the alcohol, some fruitiness -- maybe grapefruit.

TASTE: Very interesting combination of flavors. First alcohol, then hops and finally -- and I don't know how they do this, since I understand it the back of the tongue is where you experience hop bitterness the most -- a malty taste at the finish.

MOUTHFEEL: This one lingers with you, and you can feel it warming your frozen Wintery bones.

BURP TASTE: So far no burps. Kind of surprising because there are a lot of bubbles.

DRINKABILITY: I really like this. A great Winter warmer. Maybe I need to give Anchor Steam another try.

Merry Christmas, y'all. Don't let the Krampus get you.

Christmas with Krampus

In the USA the worst thing that can happen to children whose names are on Santa's "naughty" list is they may get a lump of coal or maybe a bundle of switches in their Christmas stockings. But in Austria, Hungary and some other European countries Saint Nick brings along a companion -- a demon called the Krampus, a cloven-hooved goat-horned demon with a tongue that would make Gene Simmons hang his head in shame who punishes bad children, beating them with sticks and chains -- if they're naughty enough he throws them in a basket and hauls them off to hell.

That coal's looking pretty good right now, isn't it?

Southern Tier Brewing Company -- who sound like they might be local (or at least regional) but who are actually headquartered in Lakewood, New York -- have a Christmas lager honoring this dark Christmas tradition.

This review is by request for my brother-in-law, Jamie.




(When he's not torturing and murdering children, Krampus is lusting after women -- though he seems a bit perplexed by this one. Can anybody translate?)

All right, let's go:

APPEARANCE: Light copper color, frothy head.

Oh by the way, this is one of those rare occasions when my girlfriend Kim and I are off on the same day so I've roped her into co-reviewing.

AROMA: Kim says it smells a little fishy and a little citrusy. I agree but then she smelled first and my olfactories are very susceptible to suggestion; so much so that if I smell a beer after India it smells a little bit like soy sauce.

TASTE: Very hoppy and, at 9% ABV, very warming. My co-reviewer says that beers -- for lack of a better word -- are either tight or broad to her taste buds. She says that this beer is tight but not as tight as Anchor Steam. Asked to elaborate she says tight beers are more crisp and refreshing. An example of a broad beer would be Blue Moon. I think I would like to have more co-reviewers. It's interesting to me how other people taste -- well, that didn't sound right, but you know what I mean.

BURP TASTE: Amazingly enough the burps are warming too. Now that's a first.

DRINKABILITY: Not a session beer at all, but a great Winter warmer. And the warmth of the burps is an added bonus.

Merry Christmas, everybody -- or as Southern Tier prefers it, "Merry Kramp-mas and to all a good pint."

Day 23 of the 31 Beers of Christmas

John Lyda, Brewmaster and vice-president at Highland Brewing Company in Asheville, North Carolina recently said, "If you don't have to guess what flavor is in the beer, there's too much!"
I found this enormously encouraging, because as you know my beer reviewing is almost all guesswork. Tonight I'm going to guess with a beer brewed in Asheville, although not from Highland. It's Wee-Heavy-Er, a Scotch Ale that I must have picked up at Total Wine cuz it doesn't have a price tag like the Beer Exchange's do. It was a while back so I don't remember how much it cost. (Actually, I just remembered I bought this at Earth Fare -- still don't know how much, not much around 5 bucks.)

The first thing that stands out about the label is that it says "French Broad" but it actually depicts a Scottish dude. That, I say that is a joke, son. It's actually from the French Broad Brewing Company. According to exploreasheville.com:

Asheville has long been famous for its stunning scenery, lively mountain music and famous attractions such as Biltmore and the Blue Ridge Parkway. And now, it’s become the craft-brewing center of the Southeast. Asheville’s brewing scene has garnered so much enthusiasm that it was named the winner of the Examiner’s "Beer City, USA" poll in 2010.

The Asheville area is home to ten craft breweries. On any given day, about 50 local beers can be enjoyed in Asheville, served on draft and in bottles. Tourists regularly travel here to sample and savor Asheville’s beer flavors, ranging from creamy, mild golden ales to robust Belgian-style brews.

So if you're planning your next beer vacation. . .

All right, enough messing, let's get to guessing.

APPEARANCE: Very interesting color. Dark brown, almost cola colored but held up to the light it turns a deep amber, and I swear it looks redder and slightly darker at the top of the glass than the bottom, but that could be a trick of this glass's shape. Small off-white head that faded fairly quickly though not entirely. And not even enough lace to make a g-string for Barbie.

AROMA: Moss, some nuttiness or something equally earthy -- but again, I'm guessing.

TASTE: Nice balance of flavors, more malt than anything else but hops demand your attention as well. For those of you keeping score at home this ale's specs are (according to the label) IBU - 24, SRM 14.5 and OG 17 degrees P. IBUs are individual bittering units or something similar, OG is original gravity, and I have no idea what SRM means, but since we're guessing I'll go with "Scottish Real Manliness."

I really do like a balanced brew like this. It's more fun to sip and pay attention to than one that's overbalanced one way or another. Here the second it gets a little sweet a little bit of bitter pops up.

MOUTH FEEL: Nice medium body. It feels chocolatey even though it doesn't taste like chocolate if that makes any sense. I mean, it leaves your tongue happy, like it had some chocolate.

BURP TASTE: Satisfying enough that you wish it had more bubbles.

DRINKABILITY: If you can't tell from this rave review, I find this beer very drinkable. The ABV is not sky high at 7% but it could sneak up on you because the alcohol taste is not pronounced.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and -- assuming I don't run off to Asheville and hop on one of their brews cruises -- we will find out what happens to bad little boys and girls. Stay tuned.

Day 22 of the 31 beers of Christmas

I first had Leinenkugul's beer when we took a trip to Wisconsin a few years ago. At that time it wasn't available here. In addition to their original lager, I also sampled their Honey Weiss, Berry Weiss and Sunset Wheat. When it became available here I also had their Summer Shandy. I had never tried their seasonal Fireside Nut Brown Ale (available only in November and December.) I picked up a six-pack at Harris-Teeter for $7.99.
The Jacob Leinenkugel is the seventh oldest brewery in the United States, even though it is no longer the family owned business it once was since it was purchased by Miller several years ago -- or "merged" with Miller as Leinie puts it on their website.

And away we go --

You know, a good beer blogger is not just a beer reviewer, he's a graphic designer as well. I thought it would be cool to have a picture of Fireside Nut Brown Ale by my fireside. Clever, eh?
Yeah, well my FBFF (Feline Best Friend Forever) didn't think so either. She thought I should pay attention to her and she has remarkably good aim with her tail.

APPEARANCE: Frothy head, nice effervescence. Color could not get any more copper.
(Well, that's a little better picture.)

AROMA: I'm looking for nuts, but I'm getting soap. But good soap, not cheap stuff.

TASTE: Again I think my expectations are messing me up. This feels more like an Autumn ale than a Winter. This is thinner, no warmth, very mild hop bitterness. I've recently been introduced to the concept of session beers -- which I take to mean beers you can drink several of, unlike a lot of craft beers which can be a little overwhelming after a couple. This would be a good session beer. It's quality stuff but nothing really stands out.

BURP TASTE: On the other hand, the burps are very refreshing -- and there are a lot of them, I did mention this brew was bubbly, did I not? More hops evident on the eruction than on initial intake.

DRINKABILITY: I think on another night this might have hit the spot, but I worked eleven hours, the sun never really came out and I was looking for something more in the way of alcoholic solace.

Tonight's beer is Entire Butt, and I've been waiting all day to do this joke, so let's get it out of the way -- there is no way this beer could be half-ass.
Ha ha! Get it? Entire Butt? Half-ass?
Oh, and despite what you might think, this beer is not related to Full Moon either
Ahem, but seriously folks, show some respect. This beer is made by a crack team of brewers.

(Oh, also if you do a Google image search for "entire butt" make sure you have safe search enabled to avoid retinal meltdown.)

Entire Butt is actually an old-fashioned term. As I've mentioned before, an exact definition of porter is hard to find but it used to refer to a blending of different beers that porters liked to drink. This ale is imported from Shropshire, England. From the importer's website:

Salopian’s Entire Butt is a bold recreation of a historical porter, which was blended from a variety of ales. The original English term for porter, “Entire Butt,” means essentially “the whole barrel.” This translates roughly into American English as “everything but the kitchen sink.” And this beer surely is that. It is made with 14 different malts and 3 hop varieties to achieve the effect of a blend of ales. Overkill? Perhaps, but it is hard to argue with the results.

APPEARANCE: Looks black as stout when you pour it, but if you hold it to the light it changes to a dark dark brown with a little bit of ruby round the edges. Head that dissipates rather quickly, but the lace has a little more staying power.

AROMA: Malty for sure. Something else going on in there but I'm not sure what. And this is probably as good a place as any to announce that I won't be doing daily beer reviews in January, but I'm not stopping at 31. I'll still be reviewing, just irregularly. One thing I want to do is work on my taste buds. Taste some coriander and some of the other spices that show up regularly -- eat some raw hops, as Anonymous is urging me to do. That way these reviews will hopefully be a bit more insightful.

TASTE: Misleading, because from the color I'm expecting something chocolatey or roasty and it's all malt. Get a lot of malt flavor and it's kind of like raw bread dough, one of my secret vices.

BURP TASTE: So far, no burps. Now that I think about it, there's not a lot of bubble action -- whoops, spoke too soon. Just had an eruction. It tasted very mild but biscuity.

DRINKABILITY: There is like no hop action at all, and this beer does not have a high ABV (so it won't knock you on your ass -- false advertising!), and I could see drinking a few of these.

BTW Paste Magazine recently released its list of the 25 best new beers of 2010, and I've only tried one of them. This is a hipster magazine and a lot of them are only available regionally but I would love to try all of them particularly #11.
Oh, the one I have tried? #12 Sexual Chocolate. Who could turn that down?

It's Day 20 -- Let's Thai one on.

Okay, here's one I bet you haven't tried. Westbrook Brewing Company is a brand new brewery in Mount Pleasant. In fact, as near as I can tell, their facility is still under construction. But they must have the important stuff in place already, because today at the Charleston Beer Exchange they had a tasting and growler fill event. They had three beers available for tasting -- Batch #1, which as the name might imply is the first batch they brewed, a Belgian pale ale (that's the one you'll want to try, Anonymous) and a White Thai. I sampled them all -- by the way, it was only a short time ago that a beer tasting like this would have been illegal in South Carolina, and it's evidently still heavily regulated, no more than 2 ounce samples, et cetera -- but I opted for the White Thai when it came time to fill my growler.
Edward Westbrook, the founder and CEO was on hand, and he seemed like a nice young man. Kind of low key, not a hard sell kind of guy at all, but friendly and knowledgeable.

Here we go:

APPEARANCE: Now that is a white head -- and I don't mean a blemish, it's beautiful and fluffy, like looking down on clouds from heaven. More lace than a Victoria's secret catalog. The color of the beer is pale and cloudy.

(Yes, I know I'm not pointing at the head. Give me a break, I just learned how to work the timer on my camera.)

AROMA: Spice -- but which spices other than ginger I couldn't say. I am going to research spices and at least learn what coriander and these other things taste like.

TASTE: Your tastebuds get a double tingle as the hops come in right after the ginger starts to fade. There is a lot of spice going on, but it's almost all undertones. Nothing overwhelming. There's something lemony in the finish too.

BURP TASTE: Nondescript.

DRINKABILITY: The warming effects of the ginger make it nice for a winter brew, and the lemony finish make it a possible summer ale as well. Westbrook, I am impressed.



(Look at that lace!)

By the way I also picked up a beer called Entire Butt which I hope to review in the next day or so. I know nothing about it but I couldn't resist the combination of white Thai and tails.

Day 19 of the 31 Beers of Christmas

It's been a busy weekend -- weddings and parties, and believe it or not, I'm a little tired of drinking beer. But don't worry, I won't let you down. For day 19, I'm going with Ephemere from Unibroue which is an ale brewed with apple juice, coriander, curacao peels and other natural flavors. I confess I haven't done my coriander and curacao homework so it's unlikely I'll be able to pick them out, but I love apples so maybe I've got a shot there.

APPEARANCE: Looks like unfiltered apple juice. What color is that? Not much head or lace, but a busy effervescence.

AROMA: Apples and not just any apples -- but green apples, sour green apples, Granny Smith apples. Hey hey, how about that?

TASTE: Plums and Band-aids. No, I'm kidding. It tastes like apples, but it's not sweet, or not overly sweet. The hops jump in there and make their presence known before you start thining you're drinking apple juice.

BURP TASTE: All apple. It's weird to have your breath taste fresher after a burp than before.

DRINKABILITY: A good choice for when you're tired of drinking beer. If it was a little sweeter it would be a good summer ale.

Man, it is cold out there today and I've been out in it most of the afternoon. You know what that means -- time for a beer that can warm you up a little. Yep, a stout. This one is from Dogfish Head and it's got chicory and organic Mexican coffee in it.

APPEARANCE: Yep, that's stout, all right. Black as der fuhrer's heart. The label says it has a bone white head, but that's not how I'd describe it. It may look white compared to the beer's blackness, but it's really more of a tan and it didn't last long enough for me to get a second opinion. No lace to speak of either.

AROMA: Coffee, and something like vanilla. I've never tasted chicory, so maybe that's what that is.

TASTE: Tastes like cold coffee, only not nearly as bitter. There is some bitterness there, but it's not as pronounced as it is in coffee, or as tingly as hoppy bitterness usually is. I'm going to assume that's the chicory. According to Wikipedia, chicory is used as a coffee substitute, so that makes sense. I made my wife take a sip of this. She doesn't like stouts, but she is a big coffee drinker. She voluntarily took another sip -- which means she liked it.

BURP TASTE: No burps. I'm surprised at how much this disappoints me.

MOUTHFEEL: Not as thick as most stouts, maybe because it lacks that chocolatey richness that I associate with this style.

DRINKABILITY: If you like coffee and beer, you'll love it. Me, I guess I'm more of a beer and hot chocolate man.

Day 17 of the 31 beers of Christmas

Yes, yes, I know I'm late. If you want to ensure this never happens again, donate enough to this blog so that I can ditch that pesky job that interferes so much with my beer-drinking and blogging time.
Day 17's beer is Affligem, a Belgian Tripel. This beer was chosen and purchased by my brother John, who often comments here anonymously -- well, anonymously until just now. There is an important lesson in this, folks. If you have a request for a beer that you'd like the Green Genius to review, if you buy that beer and bring it to my house, your request shoots all the way up to the top of the list.

I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to do justice to this beer for several reasons. One you probably already about it and that is I'm not really able to do justice to most of the beers I've reviewed this month, my palate is quite an ignorant little thing -- but it's learning. However my inadequacies as beer reviewer were brought home when John -- who has a nonchalant attitude toward beer reviewing and says all that matters is whether you like it or not -- nonetheless after one sip of Backwoods Bastard he described its "pillowy head" and the tastes of blackstrap molasses, chocolate and coffee. Which brings me to the second reason for the tardiness of this review -- we didn't stop after Affligem (which is 9.5% ABV) but had a Backwoods Bastard (10 %) and then a Pabst Blue Ribbon (?!). Also I couldn't find a pen or a good cartoon movie to occupy John's kid, Hannah Banana. And I was enjoying his stories about his trip to Belgium too much to take much notes even after I found a pen.

Enough excuses? Okay, here we go:

This is a great label. It not only tells you what glass to use but how to pour it so the yeast at the bottom of the bottle does not go into the glass -- though they point out if you like a nuttier flavor, then pour the yeast out too, which is what John did. It won the World Beer Cup in 1996, 2004, and 2008. This is an abbey beer, brewed by monks, and the Affligem Abbey was founded in 1074 and "Artifacts indicate the abbey was brewing beer for pilgrims as early as 1129." Wow, that makes Guinness's 1759 (which I use as a benchmark for venerable brews) look like a Johnny-come-lately.

APPEARANCE: Beautiful copper color. We were using different style glasses and mine appeared more orange than John's. I hate to sound so unoriginal but I think the perfect term for the head on this beer is "pillowy."

AROMA: I smelled oranges, but I'm not sure if that's because there was anything orangey in he bouquet or if I had oranges on the brain because I had seen orange in the glass.

TASTE: Prefect blending of malts, hops and alcohol. Nothing dominated and nothing faded. I really enjoyed this beer, but I think the difference in where each of us are in beer journey became obvious after we shared one of my new favorites the Backwoods Bastard, and I could see that what John really likes is a clearing away of extraneous flavors and I like all that molasses and chocolate and stuff.

BURP TASTE: It seems sort of sacrilegious to talk about abbey ale belches, but the Belgians do like bubbles and you know what bubbles do. The burps were mild and enjoyable.

DRINKABILITY: This beer is very smooth, so easy to drink. According to Wikipedia the Affligem brewery (though not the abbey) is now owned by Heineken. Hopefully they won't dumb it down too much.