Friday, July 27, 2007

Here he goes again!

Warning, if your tolerance level for geeky stuff is low, you might want to come back another time. I'm about to rant about postage stamps AND comic books.

The Marvel Super "Heroes" stamps came out today. Back in October 2006, when these things were first announced I expressed some concerns about the stamps here. I'm pleased to see that they made the corrections on artist credits -- I mean, if you can't tell a Gene Colan Sub-Mariner from one drawn by John Buscema, perhaps you should recuse yourself and go work on the next flower or flag stamp.

But that does not mean I'm happy. Tell me again why Elektra is part of this package? Does this woman look heroic to you? Or even smart enough to cover her ass?

Uh, hello? She's an assassin. Yeah, I know she had a crappy childhood, yeah, I know she reformed (sort of), I don't care. This is a slap in the face to all the women in the Marvel universe who don't kill people for money. Who actually fight evil and help other people -- you know, heroes.
Maybe I'm being too hard on Elektra? Well, let's see what Marvel and the United States Postal Service thinks. This is what it says on the back of the Elektra stamp:

"Driven by tragedy and versed in the ancient ways of the ninja, the mysterious femme fatale known as Elektra kills for hire, loves for thrills and brings destruction to all who are foolish enough to cross her path"

I rest my case.

And how about Sub-Mariner? If you've ever co-starred (with Doctor Doom!) in a magazine called "Super-Villain Team-Up" how the hell can you be on a hero stamp?

And judging by recent events in the Marvel universe, I would say that Iron Man probably belongs on the "Flunkies For the Man" series rather than "Heroes." Spider-Woman has no business here either. Not because she's bad, because she's boring. I guess you can only have two women since that's how many DC got, but I can think of dozens of better choices than Elektra and Spider-Woman. Here is a brief list of super-powered Marvel women that would have been better choices than these two losers - the Invisible Woman, the Scarlet Witch, Crystal or Medusa (of the Inhumans), the Cat, the Black cat, Shadowcat, Hellcat, Nightcat, Tigra, the Phantom Blonde, the Black Widow, Shanna the She-Devil, Dazzler, Squirrel Girl -- and the two I'd've gone with:
Storm and She-Hulk.

In fact, here's how I would have gone if I'd been in charge of this project:

Spider-Man, Silver Surfer, Captain America, the Thing, I would leave just as they are. I would find a better picture of the Hulk (i.e. one where his stomach muscles haven't been erased) I'd keep Wolverine and the X-Men, but I'd ditch both pics and go with these instead.

In place of Iron man and Sub-Mariner, let's go with Daredevil and the Black Panther.

There you go, now those are some hero stamps.

No comments: