Saturday, December 20, 2008

Betting with my brother

I made another bet with my brother. I'm not sure why as he never pays when he loses. He's an attorney and he loves to argue. The first bet we made that he welshed on was about the Lynyrd Skynyrd song "That Smell" -- specifically what smell the title refers to. To me and to all people with any knowledge of musical archeology it's simple:

"Ooh, ooh, that smell!" (What smell?)
"Ooh, ooh, that smell!" (What smell?)
"The smell of death surrounds you!" (Oh, that smell.)

But he says no, it's not the smell of death, it is in fact the smell of marijuana, which in the context of the song (all about the dangers of drug abuse) makes no sense. If you're Ronnie Van Zant writing a song about bandmate Gary Rossington's attempt to kill himself with drugs -- heroin, quaaludes, alcohol -- would you really name it after the most benign drug in the song? But Ronnie Van Zant died shortly after the song was released and I can't find an interview wherein he specifically states the smell in "That Smell" is the smell of death. And I probably couldn't even if he'd lived. Like I said, it's obvious what he meant, and what's more I think my brother knows it too. But according to the lawyer's creed, if you can win the argument -- or at worst forestall losing it -- that means you're right.

Then he got divorced and he was going around telling everybody that he would never get married again no matter what, if he said he wanted to get married please shoot him, et cetera. The same stuff everybody says in between one marriage ending and the next one beginning. So I bet him a hundred dollars and a case of beer that he would be married again within five years. Less than a year later he's living with his lady love. I was joking around with him saying he should go ahead and pay up. This got his hopes up, as he obviously wanted to argue about common law and cohabitation. (He's older now and he only wants to argue when he knows he can win.) I didn't take the bait and I disappointed him by not debating it with him, which I was unwilling to do because I've still got four years -- more than four years -- and no doubt in my mind that I will win.

Our newest bet is who will have the lower percentage of body fat on New Year's Day before we go on our annual Polar Bear Plunge. And he's already laying the groundwork for welshing out. Bitching about calipers and scales and how subjective and inaccurate they are. But he finally agreed. This bet is the big one and one I can ill afford to lose. The first two bets were only for a mere hundred dollars each, but this one is to see who has to buy pre-plunge drinks, and with my thirsty brother that could run to some serious bucks.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Revisionist history in the making. Actually the Lynard bet was not what the lyrics referred to, we'd have had to be mind readers, but that you could not produce the interview you said you could. When you couldn't (and that was the bet) you had an 8 month temper tantrum swearing I should pay you anyway because it was obvious you were correct. You lost that bet and never paid (thats why you were looking for the interview). Who would enter a bet where u said x and I said y and then simply because you said x again I would lose? The bet was this interview you proudly cited and swore you could produce. As for the next...hell you should by god know marriage when you see it by now and that was the bet wasn't it? If you are changing it to something new let me know now. As for the welsh factor, that's why the current bet is not who will have the lowest level of bodyfat (your original challenge) but who would have the lowest reading on your bf scale. Accurate, inaccurate, whatever, lowest number wins. That was my counter challenge which you accepted. Do you remember it differently? I was trying to lock your ass in. I can't take another 8 month temper tantrum at this point. But hell I hear you are pretty skinny these days, god willing you will actually win a bet and finally move past the whole SAT thing, one of our defining moments.

Norrin2 said...

Ladies and Gentlemen, that was my brother kindly stopping by to prove my point.
Thanks, John.

Anonymous said...

You two crack me up. All I know is if it's as cold on Jan 1st as it is today, there are going to be a lot of drinks to be had. :) Ali

Norrin2 said...

Yeah, I hope Snapper Jack's knows how to make hot toddies!